Have you ever suffered from good intentions, but poor results?
- You’re trying to reassure your wife/girlfriend that no, she does not look fat in those jeans. (There’s no way to get that right.)
- Or reassuring your new employee that it’s okay to screw up. (What?!)
- Or telling a political candidate that you won’t vote for them (but don’t take it personally).
A few months ago, I was at a lovely resort in Hawaii, and saw this sign:
I’m sure their intention was good - they probably wanted guests to know that they didn’t have to wait in long lines to use the hotel’s limited number of public restrooms. Instead they got a bunch of drunks singing Margaritaville and peeing on the lawn.
We all want to be judged by our intentions. But we judge others based on their results. In the words of President Bush, “Good intentions aren’t good enough!” He should know.
So if you want to be better understood - at home, at work, with your pets - make sure your behaviors align with your intentions… or just state your intention. When your wife asks the big-butt question, share your intention. Something like, “Honey, I want you to feel beautiful all the time. Only you know if you feel great in those jeans.”
The flipside is also important. If you’re feeling slighted by someone, ask yourself, “What was their intention?” If you’re still not sure, ask them.
Intention is a powerful force. It can bring us closer together. It can tear us further apart. The next time you need to communicate something important or sensitive, ask yourself, “What’s my intention?” before opening your mouth… or printing a sign.
