Recently, someone emailed me a request that felt a tad…exploitative.
Maybe it came on a day when I wasn’t at my best. Maybe I sensed that the intention behind it was untruthful. Whatever the root cause - I’m still reflecting on it - I had a visceral reaction that involved language I’ve been advised not to use on my blog. It started with an F and ended with a “you.”
Of course, I didn’t write that in an email. I’m telling you instead.
The next day, I was still upset, and needed to process. I IM’d Joseph the details of the emails and concluded, “I’m not being a very good Buddha right now.”
His response caught me off-guard: “You’re being an angry Buddha.”
Is it okay to be an angry Buddha?
Can I be both kind and compassionate in my posture to the world, and get upset when someone oversteps their bounds with me?
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior suggests we can be fierce and kind. Just those two words together, “Peaceful” + “Warrior,” create an interesting tension. Chögyam Trungpa explained it this way: “You might have shamatha–vipashyana (fancy terms for peaceful, harmony) awareness happening all the time. But on top of that, you have to keep up with your actual day-to-day life.”
Chögyam Trungpa’s son, Sakyong Mipham, suggests that the intersection of peaceful awareness and everyday life requires bravery. It is not enough to be peaceful and present. We must also be ready to take decisive action when the moment presents itself. (Read an excerpt from Mipham’s article, “Just Leap!” in Shambhala Sun here.)
I don’t have to be an angry Buddha; I can be a brave Buddha - to speak my truth in a loving way. For example:
Dear James,
I cannot honor your request at this time. But thank you for asking; your request helped me clarify my intentions and define clearer boundaries between our initiatives.
Yours truly,
Brave Buddha
Comments
Yes, beautifully stated! It truly is a gift that James presented to you. When I get a request/comment that hooks me - generally after a pause - I reflect on what the opportunity for me is in this situation. Thank you for this post on anger RR. Anger continues to get a bad rap. Anger is not inherently bad. It’s an emotion that needs to be felt; a marker pointing inward asking us to look at what came up for us. Deflecting and pointing outward shirks our responsibility to ourselves and others. Thanks for your posts Marti.
